My Fiance is in Love with My Little Sister The Second Time – Chapter 2

In my second life, one of the options that I lost was “peace”.

Although I was only reduced into a foolish woman who ran passionately with jealousy about Soleil-sama, but originally, he was not the type of person who liked fighting. It was better for the number of words to be few, the speech shouldn’t be discriminating, rather than standing in front of someone, it was better to stand behind someone and be protected.

As I was born and raised as a noble lady, you can say that it was the proper way.

The bodyguard always stuck alongside me, and the maid at the front always took the initiative before we act. In case of emergency, our life was given priority more than anyone else, we should be protected by our father and husband, and I believed that that big back is only for that reason and did not doubt it.

However, Soleil-sama did not want such a thing for his wife.

Maybe it was because he fell in love with that weak existence so much, or he was seeking such a figure for the wife of the Marquis household, but he never allowed me to be a weak existence.

I thought it was particularly so after I got married.

For example, when I said that I really wanted him to lend a shoulder while consoling his wife with gentle words as the right figure of a husband, he showed me a somewhat disappointed expression.

That was why, I always had to be a woman who is stronger than anyone else.

I was probably just an ordinary woman at first. A woman that can be found almost everywhere in the neighborhood.

Although I may have been well-educated as the next wife of the Marquis household, it can be said that I was that kind of woman.

On the other hand, those women were ordinary enough for me to think that they were miserable.

That was why, I fought with the women who were approaching Soleil-sama over a touch, or imitated them using bad methods.

It was indeed myself who barked better than a weak dog.

I think that it was because of that reason that I was in the position as the fiancée of Soleil-sama.

I always stood in the torrent of my life, although I was not able to throw away the soft gray hair, the frightening look, the pride as a daughter of the Earl family, I only thought about Soleil-sama.

That was why, I made an effort until it seems like I would vomit blood.

However,  it was difficult even to stand if I didn’t do so.
—– Just like that,  there was something that I noticed when thinking about my first life.

Everything seems to have happened because I was a weak person.

I had given an unguarded moment to the human beings who were trying to hurt me, simply because I was a girl who had nothing but a weak heart.

Just because it looked like it, I was forced upon a crime of killing a relative and would end my life in a prison.

When I learned that this was the second life, I thought that I should do it well this time.

It’s fine even if I do it hurriedly. Even a paper tiger can do anything.

From the point of view of others, if I were definitely a tiger, those people who would try to attack me will be gone.

I did not want to live such a life like when I lost my life in prison.

My loved ones didn’t believe me, even my family abandoned me, and the people whom I thought of as friends took no interest in me who was in prison.

However, not one sentence was directed at the pitiful woman who could do nothing but pray.

It’s fine even if it was a lie. If only someone, anyone, had said  “I’ll help you”,  I would have been saved by that.

Only that, however, I waited solemnly, I was pathetic and miserable, truly miserable. More than anything, it was foolish.

That’s why, the second time, I took all kinds of measures and used all the hands that I could use.

Even if someone criticized me as cowardly, even though I was despised as a woman by my husband, I absolutely did not compromise, and I took full advantage of my position as the wife of next Marquis.

It  was also so when I was engaged, also after getting married, we put a circle around us (TLN: The circle of influential people) and strengthened our ground with enough power to overwhelm the surroundings.

The network of people I have built since my childhood as the fiance of Soleil-sama helped a lot.

The first time, I was simply an idiot, I never thought of using someone.

So, in the second time I did not hesitate.

Things like hesitating, it was not something I should have done.

Those people too, did not only help me for my sake, but for the Marquis’ sake, they helped without holding back, and I also offered my hand when necessary.

—– What I overlooked in my first life seemed awfully clear.

I always read points to make the person called Ilya as to what kind of words to choose to gain favour from the partner, or what kind of attitude to take to give impression to the partner.

When facing someone, I observed as if a depiction was carried out on the insects, until it resulted in a nonchalant behaviour, tone, verbal expressions, facial expressions, line of sight, number of blinks, and swinging eyeballs.

Among them, a line was drawn and the human being were distributed into whom I can trust, and the one I couldn’t trust.

Sometimes, just because I was doubtful, I condemned someone.

To me, no, to my position, because “power” existed that it was possible.

In the beginning of my life, I could not stop myself even though I knew that it was going to be someone else.

I knew that if I become weak, it will lead to death.

Still, it was necessary to protect oneself even whilst feeling guilty about pursuing others.

If I had been changed with something like the first time, because Soleil-sama and my parents even my intimate friends will surely abandon me.

I merely asked for strength in such a way, and mowed, stepped on and crushed all the detailed doubts noisily.

Soleil-sama just tolerated it.

The things I did was not just childish things that came out jealousy before marriage.

Even he was a member of a noble family.

I knew that cleanliness will not be enough to support a “home”.

Because he choose me as his wife with that hand.

“You’re a terrible woman”, someone said.

I smiled bitterly as I did not want her as an enemy, but their eyes denied such a woman everywhere.

But, only Soleil-sama held my hand and told me that it was fine.

Even if he is absent, I can leave the house with confidence.

———he made a woman like Ilya his wife, he said that it was okay and smiled.

That’s why, I tell myself.

This is fine. This is not wrong. This is the right way.

I tell myself over and over again that Sylvia will not die if I go down this path.

In order to protect Sylvia, for this reason, I have to do my best this time, I have to be strong.

Without being afraid of anyone.

No matter if it’s not what you really want.

Whether it’s totally different from the child who Soleil-sama fell in love with.

And then,  on the early summer of the third year of  being married,

that destined day came again.

In the second life, the group of robbers who would’ve attacked Sylvia that day, had already been captured.

It was me who made it so.

Since I could not achieve it just by folding hands while understanding she’ll be attacked, I used all the tags on my hands to drive that organization into devastation.

The robbers who did not imagine being caught in that way showed a stunned face. When I looked at that face, I understood that the case of Sylvia being attacked was really a course of events.

At least, the plans to attack the earl’s carriage were not put up due to being captured.

In other words, that incident accidentally happened by chance on that day, and of course Silvia was not targeted.

The person who aimed to trap me, effectively made use of that incident.

Now that I think of it, due to the group of robbers being captured, it is highly likely that Sylvia will not die.

However, I still cannot say that it is safe.

Because, I do not know what triggered such unfortunate incident.

I carefully persuaded Sylvia not to go outdoors, deployed escorts behind the closed doors, for the sake of protecting that child.

I have to change the flow.  (EDN: flow of events)

I simply thought so.

The future where Sylvia will be killed. The future where I will be seized as a criminal. The future where Soleil turns away from me.
The big flow that leads to that end, I have to change it.

On that day, for sure, I will let Soleil-sama head home. It’s okay if I were to go, but if something happens, two women who cannot move properly will only get in the way.

And when it comes  to Sylvia, if you are to name one person you can rely on, there is no other than Soleil-sama.

I do not want to let you go, I do not want for Sylvia and Soleil-sama to meet. Even if I thought so, I could never leave that child to other human beings that day.

Recently, since the physical condition of Sylvia worsened, if I say that I want you to be near her instead of myself, Soleil-sama will agree without any doubt.

I shut my eyes at the mouth that slightly loosened when I lowered my head as I asked him to take care of my sister.

In front of his lowered gaze, my hands that I crossed together trembled.

I don’t know what kind of tremor this is.

Am I nervous? Am I uneasy?

In the meantime, I have to prevent myself from being seen by Soleil-sama, I thought.

What should I do if I were noticed? Let’s make an excuse.

Thinking this way, I looked up,

————- he didn’t even look at me.

He should certainly be reflecting my face, but he is looking some place far away.

Is he thinking about going to meet Sylvia right now?

However,it is alright.

Well, I am not wrong. It is not wrong.
Even if the quivering of my both hands doesn’t stop.
Even if Soleil-sama doesn’t notice it.

As long as that child does not die, it will be fine.
Today. For today. Only today. I ought to be tolerant.

Then, that uneventful day passed as peacefully as the usual day.
Sylvia was safe and there was nothing wrong.
She did not seem to leave the mansion, nor did she go out.
I accomplished it at last.

Thank goodness, really, I’m glad.

What I did was not in vain.

I cried out alone that night.

I felt like being released at last, from my own destiny that ended tragically.

I felt like shouting as everything was okay, I shed tears without restraint..

Soleil-sama said he would return in the evening, I pretended not to notice that he did not come back even though it became midnight.

————And, the time that I lost in my first life has returned to me.

I was serious and truly believed that I would start a real life from now on and becoming a new self.

I was so convinced that my expectations and hope would bring brightness to my future life.

Soleil-sama is still by my side and fulfills the role of my husband.
I will always be next to Soleil-sama from now on.

Well, it may be good to have a child soon.

My original duty is to produce a heir and raise him..

Soleil-sama will surely be a good father, I will be a good mother.

That’s it, that’s perfect.

Let’s have a family. Let’s become family.

This time, indeed, I was connected with Soleil-sama.

I saw such a dream.

A happy dream.

A hopeless dream.

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